"Comfy Couch" — Kayce S. Hughlett

"The greatest spiritual act we can take is to stop and sit down." — Anne Lamott

Author Anne Lamott conjures up images of reality’s home with all its broken shards of humanity, humor, tears, and grief. She speaks of addiction, atheism, unconditional love, family secrets, and the crippling isolation we have each faced at one time or another. During her keynote speech at Seattle University's “Search For Meaning” book festival, she spoke in prose that flowed like poetry, describing those moments in life when we feel safe and connected—when we "dip down into the Spirit" like a mother's breast letting down her milk.
 
Lamott has painstakingly sought to "restore the house of me" and as she restores herself, she offers her resurrection story to us. She brings all her experience–brokenness, faith, humor, irreverence, and self-proclaimed low esteem. She offers it all and generously says, "Come in beloved one. You're most welcome here. Let your sorrow flow as you stop and feel the baptism of tears." When asked her favorite image of God, Lamott described an "emotional acre"— like a comfy sofa, it is the place we invite others and let them simply sit with their pain. We don't push our good ideas on them. We gently say, "Come sit. You're not alone. I'll make you a plate."
 
Following her talk, I was gifted the privilege of sitting down with her for a moment. My plate was already full, my heart sated and the only dessert I hungered for was space. No words. No pressure. I simply wanted to be still with her. She had already served us a banquet and seeking more felt like eating processed cheese with stale crackers after dining on a six-course gourmet meal. Experiencing my pause, she reached and took my hands and said,

"Let's pray. Would that be ok?"

And so, we sat in a makeshift chapel and bowed our heads—Anne Lamott and I—two women with all of our flawed, kooky, irreverent, loving, God-seeking shards of humanity. For just a moment we dipped down into the Spirit as she invited me onto her sofa and offered a plate of divine simplicity.
 
As spiritual directors, is there any greater gift we can offer those who come to us than to say, "Welcome, beloved one. You're most welcome here. Come sit down and I'll make you a plate"?

--Kayce S. Hughlett is a life coach, writer, spiritual director and creative muse. Her personal joy, spirit for living and ongoing exploration of life's mystery insure time spent with her will offer wondrous insight into your own story. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her husband, daughter and fluffy golden cat, Aslan.

Link
Seek and Find: A Worldwide Resource Guide of Available Spiritual Directors

Please reply with your thoughts and comments.

Seattle University begins preparation for its spirituality book festival months in advance. Almost a year ago, Tariq Ramadan, born of Egyptian parents and Professor of Contemporary Islamic Studies at Oxford University, was recruited to be one of two keynote speakers. Event organizers certainly could not have foreseen the demonstrations in Cairo or the relevance of Professor Ramadan’s talk to the headline news the same day.

Tariq Ramadan is Professor of Contemporary Islamic Studies at Oxford University

On February 5, 2011, before a large and diverse audience, Professor Ramadan stressed the critical importance of understanding modern Muslims. At that same moment, a Muslim Google Executive educated at American University in Cairo was being detained in an Egyptian jail. Western diplomats were demanding his release and people in the Cairo streets were hailing him as a hero who helped birth what is likely to be called a new era in human history.

The other keynoter, novelist and non-fiction writer Anne Lamott, also had an important message. Her writings highlight the kind of human spirit that was motivating hundreds of thousands of Egyptian demonstrators as she spoke. Lamott is the wildly popular, author of many books including bestsellers Travelling Mercies and Operating Instructions. She says,

“…you can safely assume that you've created God in your own image ...”

Lamott is humorous and inspiring when she describes extraordinary and triumphant souls shining through ordinary people. Her characters often tap into unknown potential within themselves which enables them–and us–to become more fully and more powerfully human.

No surprise. The spirituality book fest was a bibliophile paradise. Souls smiled and hugged and a few cried. Most everyone appeared grateful to be among people who care deeply about people, and to be reminded of our own potential for growth, for healing, and for meaningful action. People of every faith–or no faith–found acceptance and inspiration in their own language. As a Muslim, I delighted in the respect shown for Islamic principles, practices, and people. Many of us prayed in a Multifaith Prayer Room, perfectly equipped for Muslims.

Countless books open every possible doorway to greater meaning and purpose, or deeper understanding of ourselves, each other, and our world. A refreshingly broad range of topics and perspectives could fuel almost any side of an argument. How appropriate for a Jesuit institution! No simple answers. No single point of view. Greater knowledge is indeed compatible with greater faith and commitment. I was reminded of my spiritual teacher saying that the bigger we become, the bigger our God becomes…

Events like this help to prepare people both for the world as it is, and for the world we strive for. Awareness, compassion, and wisdom are strengthened, and people are inspired to fulfill and express their God given potential. Honored in so many ways, the Divine Presence was palpable. It was reflected through the wisdom of the authors, the devotion of the readers, and the selfless service of the organizers and staff.

The subtle but powerful message SU’s Book Festival seemed to be mirrored a few hours later in Tahrir Square when Muslims formed a circle around Coptic Christians to protect them as they held their Sunday Mass in the square. A little while after that, Christians protected Muslims as they prayed. What a beautiful image to hold in our hearts...

NOTE: While writing this reflection, I learned that Egyptian President Mubarak had stepped down. A few minutes afterwards, Wael Ghonim, the Google Executive who helped birth the Egyptian demonstrations, said on CNN, “We were dreamers and we made it happen.” May everyone who seeks to embody universal principles be blessed. May our dreams of a better world unite us in service of the Source of such dreams.

--Sanaa Joy Carey has a PhD in counseling psychology and has been in private practice for over twenty-five years. She emphasizes the spiritual and moral dimensions of mental and physical health, and serves as a spiritual guide for people from several faith traditions. Sanaa gives workshops on spiritual development, universal values, and the inner dimensions of Islam.  She has been a practicing Muslim for twenty-one years, and for fourteen years, has received intensive instruction in Islamic teachings and practices from her teacher, a Qur’anic scholar and Sufi Master. 

Photographs courtesy of Lindsey Wasson. Thank you!

Please reply with your thoughts and comments.

We are pilgrims on a journey, a search for meaning. There is a saying that the most difficult steps of any journey are the ones from the threshold to the station. It can be difficult to leave where we are. Yet, on a rainy Saturday morning when it would have been comfortable to stay home, over a thousand fellow pilgrims traveled to Seattle University in Washington, USA, for the School of Theology and Ministry’s third annual book festival, "A Search for Meaning."

As pilgrims we are drawn to the company of fellow travelers. Many were drawn by the names of keynote speakers Anne Lamott and Tariq Ramadan, who promised wisdom and inspiration. The festival’s workshop sessions were just as rich. Each classroom an oasis where seekers were nourished by the diversity, prophecy and resonance of stories shared.

Every author emphasized that we do not search alone. Not only do we have companions on the journey; but the search itself is relational. As humans, we long for something beyond ourselves; while we search, God longs for us. We are encouraged to start the journey from right where we are, by attending to the very sacrament of our lives.

Tariq Ramadan is Professor of Contemporary Islamic Studies at Oxford University

Tariq Ramadan urged us to consider the new we; we being people of faith, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and seekers of truth. We must learn not only to travel well together, but to shine light on each tradition’s deep commitments through our own practice and to strengthen a common witnessing voice in the face of injustice. To “shape this new we;" we must be willing to take those first steps beyond our own certainties and need to be right. If we are willing to deconstruct the perceptions, assumptions and words we use without critically thinking; we will truly encounter the other. Otherwise, we miss the meaning hidden in each person, each moment, each created step.

As spiritual directors, we accompany others on this search. We help draw attention to the practical, to the incarnate revelations in everyday life. We encourage: “Take a step. Cross your threshold.” As spiritual directors, we also know it is vital to pray for grace. Fr. Mike Raschko, author of To Hunger for God, said grace is the “first word, the last word … the more powerful word.” Anne Lamott simply said, “Grace bats last.” Grace is our true guide and companion. She is the inspiration for each of us who finds the courage to step over our thresholds and search for more. 

Photographs courtesy of Lindsey Wasson. Thank you!

--Marilyn Nash is a spiritual director, a graduate of the School of Theology and Ministry, and currently the Campus Minister for Ignatian Spirituality at Seattle University. She attended the Search for Meaning, Pacific Northwest Book Festival, February 5, 2011.

Please reply with your thoughts and comments.

Spiritual Directors International member Regina Roman leads contemplative pilgrimages to Egypt. She shares thoughts and images with us. Please pause with her insights. Notice what her photographs evoke within you.

First and foremost, Egypt is about the people. I have watched these children grow and mature the past eight years. What has happened in Egypt is about all the people and if we are a contemplative people, then we by nature are called to love all people. To me this photograph represents the gracious, generous, and joyful nature of the Egyptians. Even Herodotus, a 5th century BCE historian, wrote, "Of all the nations of the world, the Egyptians are the happiest, healthiest and most religious." They, like us, want to be able to feed their families, educate their children, and have the freedom to pursue meaningful work as well as joyful play. These are the faces of the past but also of the future!

Dr. Rabia is my dear friend and colleague. In ten years of offering pilgrimages together, we have seen much and many changes--prayer has been constant. Here Dr. Rabia prays with his prayer beads, contemplating the immense history of Mount Sinai and perhaps its future. Our greatest participation in this great story of evolving humanity is to live with a contemplative stance of goodwill towards all people.

"Sunrise in the Sinai"

Early morning during a pilgrimage in 2008 this image greeted me. I felt as if a universal heart was surrounding the sun, calling all of us to participate in our common humanity. This is only the beginning of what will be a very difficult journey for Egypt but the hope is there for a brilliant new day!

My pilgrim prayer beads ... they go with me on all my pilgrimages. This image was during our last journey in September 2010. They rest on a rock in the Sinai Desert during our silent time.
The cross is Ethiopian, one of the first churches to emerge in Christianity, and I love the circle surrounding the equilateral cross—for me, this symbolizes our unity from all directions—north, south, east, west—we all belong together as one. The ten beads are from a one hundred year old Ethiopian prayer bead rope prayed by who knows how many monks. And the shell is the the symbol of the pilgrim—at home nowhere with no fixed place, yet home everywhere for home is in the heart. What happens to our Egyptian brothers and sisters also happens to us. I continue to hold these beads with the loving intent for their good ... to will for the good of another is love.

On the path towards the peak of Mount Sinai ... this speaks for itself. Unfortunately, the pole is no longer there but peace can prevail when it comes from the heart to the heart. My Coptic Christian friend and our pilgrimage guide, Hany (pronounced honey), who had a neighbor die in the recent clashes leaves us with these sweet words:

"I want you to know that I'm very appreciative of your love, concern and thinking of us in those very difficult and unprecedented times, hoping everything will be quiet and safe within those few coming weeks or months. Remember me to all the friends." -- Hany

Regina Roman [USA] is a spiritual guide, retreat leader, and leads pilgrimages through Sapira--Journey with Purpose.

Please add your thoughts to this post by replying with a comment.

Will you please pray for the "Cultivating Compassion" workshop presenters who will be in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, April 28 -- May 2, 2011? SDI celebrates more than 40 leaders who will offer teaching and guidance.

An Invitation
Can you imagine the luminous and dynamic power of Cultivating Compassion together? 

Travel to Atlanta, Georgia, USA, April 28 – May 2, 2011. A third of attendees will come for the first time. People will arrive from around the world for the annual Spiritual Directors International education events.

Everyone is welcome.

Have you ever had a song arrive during contemplative practice, and it sticks around for a while? Do you remember the simple tune and lyric by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, “In my life, I love you more”?

This tune came to me the week of the tragic violence in Tucson, Arizona, USA, and has emerged repeatedly since then. As I learn of personal tragedies in my friends’ lives and witness violent struggles in Tunisia and Egypt, the song beckons me gently to notice love in the midst of the specifics and beyond.

I am not alone in discovering the potency of this Beatles song. Read the lyrics, and then the stories of how others’ have encountered them:

There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more.

•    “My favourite Beatles song. It’s the song that opens my bar mitzvah video.”

•    “This is the song they played at my brother's funeral. I, like most people, have never really heard it before. It makes me cry each time I hear it because it reminds me of him obviously. 'Some forever not for better' ... I do remember the good and bad. Regardless of what it is about it is special to me. And in my life, I did love him more.”

•    “When my daughter was born, she was delivered by C-Section. I was in the delivery room and got to hold her. Once she was bundled up, the Dr. said I should take her out to the waiting area while they closed the incision. I took her out and held her. I sat there with tears rolling down my face and sang this song to her. I thought it should be the first. I still do.”

•    “I chose this song for my daughter and I to dance to at her wedding....It perfectly sums up my love for her, and my hopes for her future. She won't know what song I picked until the wedding, but I'm positive there won't be a dry eye in the place.”

Reflect
The transcendent quality to this Beatles song surpasses life, love, and death. Try substituting “God” for the word “you” in the lyrics and a divine love song emerges. This divine love song comforts me and draws me closer to God, to life, to love, and to the transcendence of death to a newer, broader, inclusive love in this life and beyond.

What love songs draw you closer to God?
Which popular love songs orient you to divine love?
How is music a way God is reaching out to you and to the people you companion?

Please share your thoughts on the blog.

Hopeful Imagination reflective centerpiece

In a workshop about the Hopeful Imagination, Mary Rose Bumpus, RSM, invited sixty-five spiritual directors to imagine a place where God meets us. Diverse answers included:

“in Benaroya Hall during a concert”
“when I receive a host during communion”
“in the shower”
“in the prison where I listen to people”

Together we explored ways our imaginations are a vehicle of hope in our journey toward and relationship with God or Ultimate Reality.

Mary Rose Bumpus, RSM, teaches at Seattle University’s School for Theology and Ministry. She is the author of the recent Presence journal article about the hopeful imagination as well as the Spiritual Directors International imprint book, Supervision of Spiritual Directors: Engaging in Holy Mystery. To read her Presence journal article online, follow this link.

My peer supervision group decided to learn together by participating as a group in the Hopeful Imagination workshop. Not only was it deeply satisfying to learn together as a peer group, but also inspirational to see many old friends and meet new colleagues. I highly recommend attending educational events for spiritual directors as a group, to support spiritual directors’ on-going education.

Many thanks to Carolyn Hickman and the Ignatian Spirituality Center for sponsoring the workshop for spiritual directors in the Northwest area of North America. Special kudos to the spiritual directors who drove from British Columbia to join the mostly Puget Sound community for a meaningful day of learning, sharing and cultivating hope through the imagination.

Mary Rose Bumpus, RSM, teaching

L-R Christine Betz Hall, Al Roehl, Joan Henjum, Carolyn Hickman, Jackie Leksen
Carolyn Hickman (from the Ignatian Spirituality Center) talks with Northwest spiritual directors. 

Dear Contemplative Companions,

I write to invite a united prayer of the heart with the creatures of the natural world who have boldly delivered their messages worldwide on 31 December 2010. Whatever reasons have been pondered–from poisoning by pesticides, to fright from fireworks–what to me seems an obvious omission is the significance of these occurrences on the last day of the past decade and on the eve of a new year and new decade. 

What are hundreds of turtle doves in Italy, thousands of crabs on the shores of England, penguins and petrels in New Zealand, jackdaws in Sweden, tons of tilapia in Vietnam, and sardines and catfish in Brazil trying to tell us? I’d like to include in this group the pollinating bumblebees in the United States that are declining at a rate of ninety percent affecting up to one-third of crop produce in the not-too-distant future, let alone depriving us of the beauty of flowers.

All this could be viewed as another cry from nature to wake up to the warning of limitations. But I feel it’s more.
Instead of a warning, it might be a hopeful awakening. It might be a collective invitation to the very necessary evolution of consciousness within the human race. In studying consciousness in nature I have discovered that creation provides the opportunities to experience wordless language, a unity of spirit, a synchronicity of thought not only through one-on-one encounters but among whole species regardless of place. It’s a transconscious reality. By recognizing that collective consciousness among humans also exists among other forms of life can contribute to a breaking down of the barriers that divide our minds and souls from what has been, for centuries, ingrained in many of our cultures as separate and distinct.

From this united point of view,

• Could the birds be telling us that we are losing the capacity for simple joy, to sing, to soar, to flow more freely in praise for the moment, grateful that we can still breathe the air? 
• Could the fish be telling us that life lived superficially on the surface of things only contributes to material enslavement, that the delights of diving deep is not only a Divine gift but within our capabilities to discover?
• Could the bees be saying that to taste the sweetness of life we need to curtail our unrestrained activities and busyness to allow balanced cooperation between the actions of wildlife and the actions of humanity? In other words, abiding as friends side-by-side with more sustainable consequences?

We, as contemplative practitioners aware of the power of the collective heart, and pure, purposeful mind, can, I believe, contribute a positive force by uniting with our non-human neighbors to turn the tide in this coming decade. May we heed–and spread–their particular messages of harmony, peace, spontaneity and joy.

In October, a young tree was planted in California, USA, and could be a living symbol of what we stand for, waiting patiently these winter months before sprouting new growth in the spring. Earthed by our prayers from so many traditions, may it be our praying tree for uniting with nature, going forward more closely together.

With gratitude for each of you and your support in loving creation to restoration,               
Lucinda M. Vardey
10 January 2011

Lucinda Vardey is a member of the Contemplative Alliance, and the author of several books including Being Generous: The Art of Right Living; Traveling with the Saints in Italy: Contemporary Pilgrimages on Ancient Paths, God In All Worlds: An Anthology of Contemporary Spiritual Writing, and Flowering of the Soul: Women's Prayers.

                           



                               

Spiritual Directors International receives many prayers for the people and issues that create a concern and cry of the heart.

Please add your prayer as a comment to this post. Each month SDI will publish a blog post to cultivate compassion and prayer within our global learning community. This ongoing post replaces the "Prayers" blog category.

Henri Nouwen writes,

“There are as many ways to pray as there are moments in life. Sometimes we seek out a quiet spot and want to be alone, sometimes we look for a friend and want to be together. Sometimes we like a book, sometimes we prefer music. Sometimes we want to sing out with hundreds, sometimes only whisper with a few. Sometimes we want to say it with words, sometimes in deep silence.  In all these moments, we gradually make our lives more of a prayer and we open our hands to be led by God even to places we would rather not go.”

In this time of world wide web connections, may our varied online prayers continue to cultivate compassion and connection.

Simply add your prayer or by clicking the link below. Your prayer or comment will post within 36 hours.

Peace ...

Martin Luther King, Jr., said:

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too heavy a burden to bear.

Metal artwork of Dr. King along Freedom Parkway in downtown Atlanta, Georgia, USA

On Monday, January 17, 2011 (or on any day), stop. Pause.

Ponder what core values animate your life.
Who can you forgive?
What burdens can you shed?
Where might you encounter the other, and embrace difference or discord?

Will you, could you, take a baby step? Choose love? Decide to stick to love? It is in love and with love that inner and outer freedom seeds, takes root, grows. Please, take time to stop, notice, and pay attention to what you cultivate in your life.

Join Spiritual Directors International in Atlanta, Georgia, on May 2, 1011 for a one day pilgrimage, "Compassion, Freedom, and Interdependence" following the SDI "Cultivating Compassion" education events. During the day, you will travel to the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site, and the Carter Presidential Library and Museum. Allow the life stories of internationally recognized individuals intersect with your own story to grow compassion, freedom, and interdependence. Click to learn more.