Sometimes my heart aches. I need to cry, yet I can’t access the tears welling up behind my eyes and surrounding my heart. I know a deep cry would help me connect with God, yet I can’t remember how.

I had one of those experiences during the Parliament of the World’s Religions in December. Presence editorial review panelist, Jack Stuart  graciously drove me many miles north of Melbourne, Australia to visit SDI member, Diana Cherry, who survived the devastating bushfires of Black Saturday (February 7, 2009). Scores of people died. Only seven homes remain in Diana’s community where hundreds of families used to live. Diana and her husband Ed  told the story of the roaring fire that swallowed up their community. In the aftermath of horrific tragedy, they are--one day at a time--spiritually companioning their devastated community through death into life.  

My heart ached when Diana took us to a ridge lookout. We saw charred forests and burnt homes for many kilometres in every direction. Peculiar, rotting smells of death entered my nose and heart. A sooty black picnic table where friends once shared laughter entered my sight and soul. An uneasy silence entered my ears and hung in the air where brilliantly colored parrots and bright-white cockatoos normally would be heard squawking in the treetops.

“Forgive us for we know not what we do.”
I prayed to the trees with my broken heart. I tried to pray for the arsonist who ignited the fires, and quickly realized I was too sad and in shock to pray for the perpetrator. How could someone do this to the helpless neighbors of Diana and Ed, including the powerless trees, wombats, wallabies, koalas, and lyrebirds that they dearly love? Inaccessible tears pooled behind my eyes.

As we left the ridge, I noticed stringy, peeling bark in a grove of scorched gum trees. Grateful to be with fellow spiritual companions, we paused together to watch the long strands of hanging bark gently blow in the wind . The trees were shedding their layers of protection, trusting that new bark would grow. Their compassion was palpable, each tree being present to the other, teaching me to trust the love in heartache and loss, bringing my tears closer to the surface.

Dead bark quietly and tenderly wafted in the wind, reminding me of Tibetan prayer flags, sending blessings on the breeze. In that moment, my heart opened to the love, resilience, and grace of the gum trees, reconnecting me to the cycle of life. Together we listened to the prayers of the trees, and the trees listened to our prayers, dissolving in the wind, filling all spaces with an eternal love found in the gift of communal heartache and tears.

How do you listen with compassion to the heartache and gift of tears of your own life and the lives of people you accompany in spiritual direction?

Especially after the recent devastating earthquake in Haiti, how are you caring for your sensitive heart and journeying with others who may be struggling to make meaning in the aftershocks of heart-wrenching destruction?

In the comments section on the blog, please share your thoughts.

Top photo:Diana Cherry and Presence journal editorial review panelist, Jack Stuart.

Middle photo: Scorched gum trees.

Bottom photo: Diana and Ed Cherry.

Spiritual Directors International is educating the public about listening with compassion, around the world and across traditions. Check out the blog, Facebook, or Twitter to see where.

On Saturday, January 30, 2010, the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation in Bethesda, Maryland, held a contemplative leadership day. There were 20-25 of us in attendance on what turned out to be a very snowy Saturday on the next-to-last day in January.

Among our discussions on the qualities of contemplative leadership, I was given insight that the goal of the spiritual life is to someday let go of spiritual practices and disciplines we use to ground ourselves on the journey, and to have prayer become as our breath--part of our very being, infused into our total awareness. In the afternoon, our discussion shifted to the counter-cultural nature of contemplative leadership, and we partnered with another person to flesh out the resistance felt when we become too focused on our agendas against the counter-culture or when we allow ourselves to be grounded in our contemplative practice despite the resistance. Physically, there was much strain felt in the muscles as we focused our agendas symbolically with our arms outstretched against the resistance of our partner's hands pushing downward on our limbs. However, when we later grounded our focus into our feet and relaxed our upper resistance, though there was still resistance, it did not have the same strain on the muscles. And what about our peripheral vision, we were asked. Well, when doggedly focused on our agendas in the expression of our outstretched arms, our peripheral visions were cut off. We were not aware of those around us and how they may be affected by our focus. However, when grounding ourselves in our feet, our vision opened, as the muscles in our arms became full and more relaxed.

What does this mean when we are working with others on a project where there is resistance from within the team, or when we are going through the motions of loving acceptance and peace with others, although deep inside, we do not like members of our team or just one other with whom we have to work? Well, I've been there, and I believe the effort to show a stance of acceptance and love, even when at odds with the facts of our inner state, is indeed a spiritual practice, just as much as any discipline of prayer. Though our head does not connect immediately to our heart, our intent is to live the practice until we can let go and join the two without effort. Meanwhile, in the practice, we ground ourselves in Trust that a Infinite Mystery knows us deeply and cares for our well being. That is the shift that changes the resistance in practicing contemplative leadership. When our focus is doggedly set on just pretending to love against the resistance of our inner truth, we are worn down and discouraged. However, when we ground ourselves in Trust, the resistance is shifted. Our focus is now on practicing our deepest values in the hope of someday joining head and heart, and we are grounded in our Sacred Trust of the outcome brought forth by a loving and faithful Presence beyond ourselves.

"We are leaders at the point of our gifts, and we are followers at the point of others' gifts." ~Ann Dean, Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation
"Power without love leads to oppression. Love without power lead to sentimentality." ~Richard Rohr
"We are torn loose from earthly attachments and ambitions (contemptus mundi). And we are quickened to a Divine but painful concern for the world -- amor mundi. [God] plucks the world out of our hearts, loosening the chains of attachment. And [God] hurls the world into our hearts, where we and [God] together carry it in infinitely tender love. ~Thomas Kelly
"Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us: We taste only sacredness." ~Rumi

SDI member, Therese Taylor-Stinson 

Not one, not two, but THREE new videos in the "SDI Learns From..." educational video series!

Spiritual Directors International is delighted to add videos from Peter Ball and Carol Ludwig; Wil Hernandez, PhD; and Alexandra Kovats, CSJP, to the more than fifteen short educational videos in this series. The videos will help you tell the story of spiritual direction, also known as spiritual companionship, spiritual guidance, and spiritual accompaniment.

Please share these FREE video resources when you teach, via your workshops and online resource links, and with seekers.

Spiritual Directors International learns from Canon Peter Ball and Carol Ludwig: Peter Ball is an Anglican priest living near London, UK, who has authored two books, including the Spiritual Directors International book, Anglican Spiritual Direction. Ludwig co-directs the Center for Spiritual Care in Vero Beach, Florida, USA, and teaches in spiritual director training programs (Audire, Mercy Center Burlingame). Listen to Carol interview Peter and learn what nourishes spiritual directors.

Spiritual Directors International learns from Wil Hernandez, PhD, who conducts retreats, classes, workshops, and seminars all over the country focusing on the spirituality of Henri Nouwen. Hernandez regularly teaches at Fuller Theological Seminary, Azusa Pacific University, Franciscan Renewal Center, and the Center for Religion and Spirituality (Loyola Marymount University). He is the author of Henri Nouwen: A Spirituality of Imperfection and its sequel Henri Nouwen and Soul Care: A Ministry of Integration (Paulist Press).

Spiritual Directors International learns from Alexandra Kovats, CSJP, who teaches at Seattle University in Washington, USA. She shares her understanding of ecological spirituality as it relates to God's peace and the value of spiritual direction. Kovats offers spiritual retreats and spiritual direction around the world. She is a native of Hungary.

Please share these YouTube videos when you teach, via your workshops and online resource links, and with seekers. Offer your comments about who else you want to learn from in this series!

Click here to review the full list of videos in the "SDI Learns From..." educational video series.

Compassionate listening leads to discerned action. The ministry and service of spiritual direction helps people listen and respond to issues of freedom and justice.

Speaking powerfully of the need to serve, to be of service to one another, and in our communities, Martin Luther King, Jr., said:

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too heavy a burden to bear."

In the past week, notice the discerned action and compassion emerging throughout the world. Sometimes global events, like the earthquake in Haiti, cause us to awaken to needs in our own communities. Sometimes hearing on the radio or television the voice of a prophet, like Martin Luther King, Jr., gives us courage to build relationships, to serve. Wherever you look, notice service and love in action.

What grabs your heart of compassion and moves you to respond?
Take a moment to pause today. Begin by looking at your own life particulars. Notice where you might choose to love more, offer kindness, slow down. What burden can you let go of? Is there somewhere you can decide to stick with love, and respond with service?

Would choosing to serve and act with love heal a relationship and bridge barriers?

If you struggle or ponder how you can respond, explore your questions with a spiritual director.

 

Please share your thoughts or stories of inspiration by adding a comment to this blog post.

 

 

Spiritual Directors International members are featured on the CBS Evening News! Watch "Clerics Seek Peace through Humor, Dialogue" with Pastor Don Mackenzie, Rabbi Ted Falcon, and Imam Jamal Rahman interviewed by CBS News correspondent John Blackstone, December 26, 2009.

Encouraging peace through understanding ... simply click on the photo or this link to view the online video:

Watch the CBS News Video Online

Note: Please practice peace and patience with the CBS video, which includes an advertisement to quit smoking before the video interview of the Interfaith Amigos.

To read the full transcript of the video interview click here: "Clerics Seek Peace through Humor, Dialogue" Pastor, a Rabbi and an Imam - It May Sound Like a Joke Setup, but the "Interfaith Amigos" are Serious about their Mission".

If you like this video, learn more in one of these SDI interviews from the "Spiritual Directors International Learns From..." video series:

• Spiritual Directors International learns from Rabbi Ted Falcon
• Spiritual Directors International learns from Jamal Rahman

The global community of Spiritual Directors International invites you to pray with  K’T’U, a spiritual director, and notice how your relationship with God or the sacred invites you to respond …

 

 

Prayer for Haiti

Together let us join in prayer
wrap a mantle of compassion upon Haiti
for the babies, sisters, brothers, workers, family, friends, strangers, enemies, animals, and more, more, more who died and will die,
who are wounded and ache
and will ache, suffer,
who grieve, breathe in shock
crawl
paw through the rubble of time
a violent collapse of daily routine.

 

.....


May fresh air breathe with vital necessity.
May we sacrifice and share.
May we enable compassionate action, and service—now. Right now.
May our mantle of compassion console and heal.
And may our prayer build grateful action, life.

--K’T’U, 13 January 2010

 

 

To add your prayers and thoughts please click on "add your comments" below.

In many traditions, to light a candle is considered a sacred action. Add your flame to the "SDI" group and click this link to light a "SDI" candle, in the "SDI" group at gratefulness.org.

Click for Photograph source

Spiritual direction is the featured topic of the Winter 2010 issue of Hope, a publication from The Sisters of Providence of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods, in Indiana, USA. In this issue, Connie Schnapf, a member of Spiritual Directors International, describes spiritual direction as "a gift you give yourself." You can read the feature article, "Spiritual Direction: You Are Not Alone," discover how spiritual direction has aided the faith journey of several women, learn about the role of doubt, and peruse additional articles and suggested resources. Sister Catherine Livers explains, “In our spiritual journeys, we are always growing, we are always learning more and more about God’s love and grace.” Sharing about her experience of spiritual direction, Vanita Moore says,

“After meeting with Sister Catherine [Livers] for two or three times, I remember looking at her and smiling and I said, ‘I really like spending this time with you. I feel like I can ask you anything and talk to you about anything and you’re not trying to fix me.’ And she laughed and smiled great big and said, ‘Oh, honey, you don’t need to be fixed; you just need somebody to travel the path with you.’ I love that. That’s what our relationship has been."

Follow this link to read the online issue of Hope, Winter 2010, Volume 5, number 2.
Please offer your comments here to continue the conversation.

 

In the New Year, what ancestors are you grateful for? Where are you searching for treasure? How do you know when you have found pearls of great price?

Today, I am celebrating the founding members of the Spiritual Directors International Coordinating Council: Janet Ruffing, RSM; Gerald May, MD (rest in peace); Lucy Abbott-Tucker; Rev. Donald Schell; and the first executive coordinator, Mary Ann Scofield, RSM (pictured above circa 1990). These extraordinary servant leaders recognized the treasure in the ministry and service of spiritual direction. They created an organization to foster global collegial care for the pearls of great price related to spiritual companionship.

For twenty years, Spiritual Directors International has been offering educational programs, inspiring publications, and raising awareness of the importance of spiritual companionship. Of course, spiritual direction has been around for a lot longer.

During the December Parliament of the World’s Religions, my heart awakened to a deeper awareness of how ancient the treasure of spiritual direction is. While I was listening to an Australian Aboriginal presenter, Vicki Walker, share her faith and her Aboriginal heritage, she said, “For 40,000 years, my ancestors have lived here. We have been listening to each other and to the land with our hearts. We know the land is treasure given to us, and we need to live in sacred relationship. I am related to you, and you are related to me and to the land too.”

The phrase, “for 40,000 years” is still opening in my heart and seeping into my mind as a pearl of great price. I often tell people that spiritual direction has been around for thousands of years. Depending on the person asking, I talk about Jewish mashpiahs offering spiritual guidance for more than 2000 years, or tell stories of Christian desert ammas and abbas from about 170 CE, or site Buddhist spiritual teachers who have been listening with compassion since about 450 BCE. Now, because of my encounter with many Aboriginal and Native people during the Parliament of the World’s Religions, I will as well be telling the story of spiritual companionship that dates back 40,000 years. I am grateful for our Aboriginal ancestors.

In this new year, I am also grateful for YOU! Grateful for your commitment to a ministry and service of spiritual companionship that dates back 40,000 years. I invite you to join Spiritual Directors International in thanking our treasured ancestors during the April 2010 educational events in San Francisco. Come participate in the amazing educational program, Gratefulness: the Heart of Spiritual Care.

In the comments section below, please share your stories of the founding of Spiritual Directors International or searching for treasure in your spiritual heritage.

Happy New Year!