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Guest author: Liz Budd Ellmann, MDiv
I discovered two new things during my annual silent retreat: a little bit of anchovy on pizza tastes great, and joy lives in the heart of God.
As I was driving to the Whidbey Institute for the retreat, I stopped for dinner. “Would you like anchovies on your pizza?” the waiter asked. I paused. Seated at a table by myself, no family member or friend was there to hold their nose and say, “Heck no. Hold the anchovies.” In that instance, my retreat began. Do I want to go with the familiar, or move into the new? Stepping out of my comfort zone, I answered, “Yes, please. Include some anchovies.” And you know what? I liked the salty, savory, slightly fishy taste. Even more importantly, I enjoyed discovering something new. Unearthing new joys became the theme of the retreat.
Meeting daily with a gentle and wise spiritual director helped me clear space to notice how choosing the familiar can become an unhealthy habit, even in prayer. My spiritual director gave me permission to “stoke the fires of joy,” when my tendency in a world of war, poverty, and unemployment is to worry and despair. She offered a quote from David Spangler that I found particularly helpful, “Joy is a quality that by its nature reaches out to more than just ourselves. It enlarges us, expands us, gives us a reason to keep on living and striving … Joy does not lead me to escape. It leads me to embrace the world with all its suffering and all its wonder and creative powers.”
God surprised me daily with little joys like anchovies, and big joys like the felt sense of the heart of God: not only holding the suffering of the world, but also the deepest, sweetest, and saltiest joy.
Do you have a story about how you cultivate joy in your life and in your spiritual direction ministry and service? Please share your story by offering comments in the reply section of the blog.
09/02,2009, at 14:12
Thank you, Liz, for reminding me of how often I experience joy alongside painful life experiences. Sometimes I forget to acknowledge and be grateful for these seemingly small joys. I have had several months of illness followed by resurfacing of painful childhood memories that "I" presumed were behind me. On a very dark day last week, even as night settled over my downtown neighborhood in Tulsa, I turned from computer keyboard to piano keyboard and spontaneously composed music for the Psalm 46 phrase: "Be still and know, I am God." I had never composed music before that moment. Recognizing the lift in my spirit, I remembered when I'm still and my heart is open, I AM is right in the midst of our life struggles, ready to renew us with joy in creating something new out of old ways of being.
09/02,2009, at 15:53
When our loved one is the other side of the world for a few weeks, it can be hard to stay joyous. But we needn't be sad (unless we really DO need to be .. but that's another story) . . . there's always ways of being loving and joyous if we open ourselves for them: When you can engage with your loved one in more ways and higher depths (!) than you ever thought possible, then you know she's the one: but what a way to test it: To be two full days travel away for a month! But love knows no distance: to open ourselves to God's presence in life and to be aware of our partner's presence, with us now, are one and the same: Bliss. Maybe we miss the tender touch, but joy transcends time zones. But what about the missing touch? There are always others in need of a hug! By being joyous we really do draw such folks to us . .. and we all win. To be ready to hug IS to serve. Blessings Keith
09/02,2009, at 20:12
Thank You for this Place- A Spiritual Journey Snowmass Colorado, what a wonderful place for a retreat. Complemented by chanting monks in Lauds and Vespers, even a stodgy Lutheran can come into harmony with the Gregorian chants. The content, the people, all have the makings of serenity. And yet there is that latent reminder of trips over Hagerman Pass, a business trip in late December that somehow seem to misdirect the energy; it is as if there is a veil of discontent from the other world that is separating me. My new friend the “flying Nun” from Kingston Ontario is keeping things moving, despite being in the early stages of recovery from breast cancer. And of course it is her bliss to get every conceivable book into her suitcase while her driver waits ever so pseudo patiently. But then there is grace. The bookstore has a register of visitors. After having seen every Keating, Merton and Nouwen book three times over, there comes a respite. No, there is no recognition of an old friend from decades ago. Instead, a simple phrase tears the shroud of discontent from top to bottom; “thank you for this place.” Suddenly the grace fills not only the room but the valley in a way that nothing else has been able to do. Thank you, thank you; and for weeks this brief phrase resonates even to the Front Range and back to Durango and over Red Mountain Pass. Somehow, the weeks have been transformed with a new gratitude. “Thank You for this Place.”
09/03,2009, at 01:33
I so enjoyed this story, Liz. Simple and sweet just as is the grace from Divine Spirit. Fostering a childlike heart keeps me connected to joy. Savoring the little things like lightening bugs and fiddleheads. Filling my heart with so much gratitude that it bursts out in song. Life is a daily celebration of joy. The more I resonate with that energy, the more others recognize their own sources of joy and can then join in the grand dance. Blessings of Light to you and all.
09/04,2009, at 19:22
Hurray for you for chartering into the unknown! I love anchovies on my pizza, yummy and actually "converted" my sisters in my community to try this concoction! Great with wine too! Blessings of JOY!
09/10,2009, at 20:27
"The joy of the Lord is my strength" Neh. 8:10 has been my verse for several years and more so since I have been in HeartPaths spiritual direction training with Bob Gardenhire III, Nancy Dunkerley and Eunice Cheshire in Dallas. I am "Awakening to Joy" in so much in my days. I would include anchovies on pizza and sushii and many more of the wonderful tastes God has in store for me. Thank you for offering the anchovies example of joyful living! Beverly Jacobson