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Guest author: Liz Ellmann, MDiv
How do you describe compassion?
That’s a question we will ask all participants in Atlanta during the upcoming “Cultivating Compassion” series of educational events. We’ll ask the question two times: once at the beginning of the conference and again at the end. Why? Because compassion isn’t static. Just as the compassionate listening we offer in spiritual direction changes over time, so does the way we understand and express compassion. In the global ministry of spiritual direction it is important for us to continually cultivate compassion toward ourselves, toward our spiritual companions, and toward the world we live in.
Even though you may not be joining us in Atlanta, I invite you to take part in an exercise that I hope will help you cultivate compassion in your ministry and service of spiritual direction. Three powerful, free, online, TED talk videos have been released in the past three years, each dedicated to compassion. I am recommending to all the upcoming Atlanta participants to watch at least one TED talk in preparation for the educational events. 
The exercise is simple:
Before you watch any of the TED talks, write down how you describe compassion.
Then learn from one of these spiritual leaders by following the hyperlink on their photo or name. After watching the video, write down what you absorbed about compassion, not only in your head, but also in your heart. When you next meet with your spiritual companions, notice how you listen with compassion – is it the same or has something shifted?
“Why should I learn from these people?” you may ask. Here’s why (profile source: www.TED.com.):
Rabbi Jackie Tabick is known for being the first female rabbi in the UK and for her remarkable efforts to reach out to distinct faiths. She serves as chair to the World Congress of Faiths, working with patrons such as Rev. Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama towards deepening religious understanding, respect and co-operation. To this end, Rabbi Tabick also serves as an executive member of the Inter Faith Network, and the Three Faiths Forum, as well acting as patron for the Jewish Council for Racial Equality (JCORE). The title of her talk, posted in 2008: The Balancing Act of Compassion
Religious thinker Karen Armstrong has written more than 20 books on faith and the major religions, studying what Islam, Judaism and Christianity have in common, and how our faiths shaped world history and drive current events. "I say that religion isn't about believing things. It's ethical alchemy. It's about behaving in a way that changes you, that gives you intimations of holiness and sacredness." SDI is delighted to host Karen Armstrong's Charter of Compassion exhibit during the Atlanta educational events. The title of her talk, posted in 2009: Let's revive the Golden Rule
When Krista Tippett graduated with a Masters of Divinity from Yale, she saw a black hole where intelligent coverage of religion should be. As she conducted a far-flung oral history project for the Benedictines of St. John's Abbey, she began to imagine radio conversations about the spiritual and intellectual content of faith that could open minds and enrich public life. These imagined conversations became reality when she created "Speaking of Faith" (now "On Being"), which is broadcast on over 200 US pubic radio stations and globally by NPR. The title of her talk, posted in 2011: Reconnecting with Compassion
Reflection:
What are you noticing about the way compassion is being cultivated in you and through you? Please share your reflections on the blog, along with any reactions to the TED talks.
04/07,2011, at 10:25
Just viewed Krista Tippett's creative and insightful presentation on compassion, the word itself, its signs and its potential, even as a "technology".
04/13,2011, at 10:27
Rabbi Jackie talks about getting rid of our ‘hot air’. Karen Armstrong advocates ‘dethroning ourselves from the center of the world’, and Krista Tippett, quoting Jean Vanier, about how compassion is a sign of a deeper reality. I’m sure many of us have experienced that deeper reality that we find ourselves in when we have managed to dethrone ourselves. Here is an experience I had last week. Someone suggested that I reach out to “Brenda.” After a year of Brenda’s canceling appointments, I invited her (again) to come for lunch one day. She has suffered for several years because of the sudden death of her teenage son in a car accident. She had already told me about this and about the fact that she has never managed to recover from losing him. She isolates herself, and she is aware that this makes her situation even more difficult. Brenda tried to attend a local faith-based group as well as a support group for grieving parents, but she never continued, saying she just can’t deal with “a room full of happy people.” Ever since I read two articles on mental health in February’s Living City magazine (“The Transcendence of Mental Pain” and “Beyond Empathy”), I have been trying to put more deeply into practice the emptiness of Jesus when he approached the family of Lazarus and simply wept with them. This was described very beautifully in one of those articles – emphasizing that Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead but his first response was to “make himself one” with their suffering and weep with them – not just reassure them and make them feel better. After reading those articles, I had a new sense that our lives only have meaning when we are able to love like this – to love the other with complete emptiness of self, without thinking of what I might do next or how I could respond. Just be love. So, when Brenda came to my house and sat at my table and told me her story (which she has told me before), I somehow had the grace to love her with an emptiness of love that I’ve never before been aware of in myself. I had no expectation of resolving anything. No thoughts of what I might say or suggest. I cried sometimes when she cried (which was almost the whole time). I laughed with her when she told me some stories of her son’s childhood questions about God and his teenage rebellion. Her pain was quite evident. I just gave myself to her, and I really was Love in that hour. It was qualitatively different than other times I have been with people who are suffering deeply – when I thought I was practicing ‘compassion.’ I know this because I was utterly unaware of it until afterward. I was so deeply in the present moment while we were at the table that it wasn’t until after she left that I realized what a gift she had given me by sharing her pain. I was left standing in my kitchen with a joy that felt eternal because in that present moment, I had been empty enough to feel the joy on the “other side” of the pain – the joy that was the fruit of the communion between this woman and me. The feeling was so pure, in fact, that it also gave me the grace to walk away without feeling nostalgic about what had just happened – to enter into the next present moment – going back to work because lunch was over.